What Do I Want In a Relationship?

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It’s quite a challenging task to build an ideal relationship that will grow into a strong family in the future and will bring harmony into our lives. Moreover, often, due to some peculiarities of character, we destroy what we have achieved with such difficulty with our own hands.

Modern statistics is disappointing: about half of couples break up with time, and if we talk about marriages, the numbers are even more alarming. It is possible to change the situation, but for this, both partners should understand what they want in the relationship. Today, we’ll try to help you answer the question, “What do I want in a relationship?” and sort out everything.

how to figure out what you want in a relationship

What Do Men Want in a Relationship?

All girls ask the same question, “What do men want in a relationship?” They want to understand their life principles, preferences, and tastes. Women want to know what really attracts them because the notorious opinion that a man is interested only in sex and food has nothing to do with reality. To create a healthy and successful relationship, it is necessary to find out what men want in a relationship.

They want to feel like a hero

When a man grows up, he dreams of being strong. Yes, it is normal for a man to be strong, even despite the need for nagging, complaints about life and a slight temperature. However, these moments are exceptions, the rest of the time a man needs to be sure that a woman admires him and marvels. So, a man wants to feel that he is the smartest and bravest for his woman. Even if he knows that he is strong, what is the point of that if his woman is doubting it?

They want to be sure that a woman is loyal

For a man, it is important to know that the woman is loyal. That she will not leave him, that she isn’t light-minded, and that she is confident in her choice. If a woman loves, she is faithful, and she cannot imagine herself with someone else because she simply does not need this other one. Representatives of the stronger sex, no matter how they position themselves, are proprietors by nature, and therefore, there is nothing worse than sharing their woman with someone else. A mature man is looking for a partner for a long-term relationship, that is why stability and loyalty are of great importance.

They want to be completely accepted

If a woman condemns a man for his actions, behavior or appearance, it badly influences his attitude towards this woman. It is important for him to feel that the girl loves him and accepts as he is and doesn’t try to change.

They want to have their personal space

What do guys want in a relationship? A wise girl knows that a man needs his personal space like air. Sometimes it is necessary for men to be left alone with their thoughts and hobbies. A man feels the need to hang out with his friends and devote time to his hobbies (as well as women, duh). Keeping a man constantly close to her, a woman makes a big mistake because doing that, she makes a man feel uncomfortable in this relationship. So, over time he may try to distance himself from such a clingy partner.

They want women to love and admire them

A girl should respond positively to his meritorious deeds. It is important for a man to know that he is trying and doing everything not for nothing. A man will start doing even more for his partner if he sees her sincere, approving reaction.

how to ask for what you want in a relationshipThey want to feel supported

It is the reverse side of “I'm a hero” because sometimes even kings need support. By the way, this does not mean that it is necessary to make decisions for him, to tear down everything around and rebuild, sometimes it is enough just to hold the hand. A man wants to hear from a woman, "Honey, I cannot put into words how I appreciate what you're doing for me." After all, whatever he does, whatever he achieves, he does all this exclusively for his beloved girl and, maybe, only partly for himself.

They want to be in relationships where there is no place for resentment

No matter how absurd it may sound, most often the man does not understand why exactly a woman is offended and, most likely, thinks that she is angry because he is not the best option for her. And they can get sick because of the awareness of their own inferiority. Besides, men cannot stand the tears on the physical level.

They want to have sex

Do you know what guys want in a relationship? A man wants to see in his woman not only his life partner but also a sexy, beautiful girl who knows how to flirt and excite. A man wants to feel power over his partner, and it is an intimacy that can help him put desires into practice. Sex with a beloved partner is of great importance since it not only gives a lot of pleasant emotions but also strengthens the relationship.

Of course, this is not the complete list of things guys want in a relationship, but these are the basic requirements that are suitable for almost every couple. Men are no less careful in choosing a partner. It is crucial for them to know that there is a real woman in front of them: wise, loving, sincere, caring, and loyal.

What Do Women Want in a Relationship?

In past years, clinical specialists who wrote on the topic of relationships had the opportunity to observe only unsuccessful couples, therefore their ideas about a happy relationship relied on bare fantasies. These experts had no idea about exactly how men behave in truly wonderful marriages. Nowadays it is extremely important to find out the secret of harmonious relationships and what women want in a relationship.


If you ask a woman, “What do you want in a relationship?” expecting that her answer will be about money or an attractive appearance of a partner, then you will be surprised. The first of the qualities needed by women in relationships is reliability. Women are not looking for prince charming, but for a man who can be trusted. Reliability is not only the fact that you, for example, do not gamble or, if we are talking about long-term relationships, have never cheated on a partner. When it comes to courtship and a committed relationship, the essence of reliability is that your words match your deeds. Such concepts as trust, responsibility, and authenticity come to the fore.

Emotional connection

Reliability is built through an emotional connection. A woman needs a man who will be next to her when she needs him, who is ready to be interested in her and take care of her. Women want to be respected, listened to and have contact with their partners. Any woman wants to get the attention of her man. This means that if she wants to talk to you, then take a break from a computer game, set aside your mobile phone and, by your actions, demonstrate how important she is to you. The task of every man is to understand his woman, and he can achieve it by asking questions. If your girlfriend complains about the best friend, do not offer her a ready-made solution, do not laugh it off and do not perceive the problem as insignificant. Ask questions about what she feels and what it all means to her. It is necessary to show true interest and try to understand why it is so important for her.


A woman wants to be with a generous man, who shows this quality in everything, including words, emotions, gifts. Cheap and greedy men will never succeed in any business, including a healthy relationship. The law of love tells that the more you give, the more you get. The more a man gives out, the more a woman will love him. A woman who constantly lives in the shortage of men’s love is not a happy woman. Sometimes a man considers his sole duty to earn money and that’s all, but a woman also needs his warmth, tenderness, care and time.

How to Figure Out What You Want in a Relationship?

Often, we don't achieve the kind of success that would have pleased and inspired us. The fact is that you do not strive for what you want in a relationship, you choose goals and plans that are dictated by the world around you and other people, forgetting about your own values, interests, and desires. what do guys want in a relationshipOf course, it is a challenging task to define things you want in a relationship, but there are some tips on how to figure out what you want in a relationship that might come in handy.

Get to know yourself better

This tip seems simple, but in fact, it is rather difficult to do. Understanding who you are, what you like and don’t like on your own is very problematic, but the answer to this question can settle many things in your life. Pay more attention to yourself and be honest. People who don’t truly understand themselves often choose unsuitable partners.

Make your life as comfortable as possible

Try to build an atmosphere that matches your interests around you. Communicate with people, pursue a career, devote time to your favorite hobby. It is also worth defining ways to please yourself when things are bad, and set long-term goals.

Analyze your best and worst dates

How to know what you want in a relationship? If the issue that you have in your relationship relates to your interactions with the partner, then the easiest way to figure out the best and worst aspects of a such a relationship is to look at your dates from a new side. Did you like your pastime when you did nothing but talked and had fun? The whole problem might be connected to the lack of communication.

Ask yourself several questions

A rare person knows how to ask for what you want in a relationship. It is important to look within the soul and ask yourself a few things.

  • Can I truly say that my partner shares my worldviews and goals in life?
  • Do I feel more complete and happier when I am with my partner?

These questions will make it easier for you to define things you want in a relationship. What you want in a relationship may be hiding away in your mind, you should be as honest with yourself as possible. Don’t try to hide anything or deceive yourself in one way or another.

Start a diary

You may think that this is the most stupid tip you have ever witnessed, but if you start exploring this topic in the search for the magical pill that will help you solve all the problems, you will run into this tip again and again. It is much more effective then you could even imagine. A diary will allow you to remind yourself of all the things that have happened as well as your feelings during those moments. You will be able to analyze your relationship, leave the emotions of a given situation aside and become open-minded.

Check out online personality tests

If you open your browser and type this request into the search bar, you will find a really huge number of different online personality tests. Of course, some of them will take a few minutes, while others will take up to an hour. If you want to get the full answer to your question, then the more complex test you choose, the better. You should look at the issue at different angles and remember that the more honest answers to the questions you give, the fairer result you will get. We don’t always know what we want exactly because we try to be better than we are, but it can only complicate the process of finding the correct answer.

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