Top 5 Workaholic Relationship Problems

08.07.2019

Top 5 Workaholic Relationship Problems

The word "workaholic" is often used in conversations, but we put a positive meaning into it: a person is an irreplaceable worker, they will say that they take care of their work! However, experts are prone to considering it a mental disorder leading to emotional exhaustion, depression and even physical health problems. Where is the line between love of work and dependence on it? And why is a relationship with a workaholic so difficult?

What Is a Workaholic?

Diligence and workaholism. Diligence is a positive quality of personality, brought up from childhood. Diligence provides responsible and high-quality work, but it neither pulls a person out of life nor imposes restrictions on other types of activity. Workaholism deprives a person of everything else: family, friends, hobby. It is accompanied by an altered state of consciousness, inadequate perception of reality.

What does it mean to be a workaholic? A workaholic is a person who prioritizes work. They neglect family, entertainment, rest, and even their needs. Every person who wants to achieve prosperity in life is forced to work intensively. But not every worker becomes a workaholic.

Workaholism Develops in 4 Stages

1. The initial stage of workaholism. An employee is sometimes delayed at work, they think quite often about their job, and it is already reflected in personal life.

2. Critical stage. Fatigue accumulates, sleep is disturbed, work occupies an entire place in a person’s life.

3. Chronic workaholism. Psychosomatic and physiological failures become more noticeable, the workaholic is gaining responsibilities that they cannot fulfill, become a perfectionist.

4. The final. The efficiency rapidly decreases, mental and physical health fades away, fatigue accumulates, exhaustion becomes pronounced. Apathy, alcohol abuse, smoking, overeating are signs of an approaching end. If at this moment, a person does not recognize the problem and does not begin to fight, then the situation will reach a dead end, accompanying with a nervous breakdown, heart attack, death.

One of the problems of learning how to stop being a workaholic is that dependence develops gradually. You cannot tell for sure when it all started. At first, the problem is not noticed by the worker themselves, and the environment perceives it as a professional advantage. However, they forget that human resources are not infinite. The intensive pace of work, with fatigue accumulation, will sooner or later lead to psycho-physiological and emotional exhaustion, illness, deterioration of physical and mental health.

Workaholism occurs under the influence of several factors which you need to know to determine how to cure a workaholic, often their combination include the following factors.

1. Intrapersonal factors. These include the values and attitudes of the individual, especially the character and experience gained.

2. External factors. This category is made up of the peculiarities of the development environment and the situation in the country.

3. Biological factors: neurohumoral regulation, stress resistance, ability to adapt, psychological defense mechanisms.

The last group of reasons is worth explaining. When a person is passionate about work, gradually without noticing it, they drive the body into a state of stress. In response, all systems of the body strain and begin to work at maximum speed, a lot of adrenaline and other hormones are produced, which together give a feeling of a surge of strength and euphoria. Later on, to experience these sensations again, a person consciously works a lot. This is how dependence is formed, and you know how to become a workaholic. But gradually, stress turns into distress, and instead of euphoria, apathy, irritation, exhaustion ensues.

Another reason for workaholism is the departure from reality (not always conscious). Plunging into work, a person is cut off from other aspects of life, they do not need to solve problems because they have no time, or they simply do not notice them. Thus, problems in the family or non-acceptance of oneself (loneliness) may well be the cause of workaholism.

The risk of development of workaholism is higher among employees of organizations where independence and creativity of thinking are suppressed, there is a plan and focus on quantity, not the quality of work, there is a fixation on formalities (reports), petty control (disrespect of the individual and mistrust).

Signs of a Workaholic

The first step in how to deal with a workaholic boyfriend or a workaholic husband is determining their condition. These are the most popular sings of so-called “nice workaholic” who pretend they need to work just to earn money and build their career while the job is obviously interfering with their personal life.

1. great diligence, love of cleanliness and order, high costs and in spite of the average results;

2. perfectionism in everything, including the observance of moral standards, demands on oneself and others;

3. the complexity of the choice, the long weighing of the pros and cons, the desire to always do the right thing;

4. obsession with trifles;

5. stubbornness, straightforwardness, and determination in achieving the goal;

6. incorrect prioritization, the desire to systematize and control everything;

7. inability to express emotions, relieve tension and stress, the accumulation of insults and fatigue.

Here are some other general characteristics of this disorder you will notice living with a workaholic.

1. Work replaces hobbies, relationships, family.

2. In this case, an excess of labor activity is not caused by financial needs, material income is not the goal. However, the workaholic convinces themselves and others that the reason for the overload are financial hardships.

3. The addict feels guilty to the family and themselves, the fear of failure exists.

4. There is a compulsive desire for continuous success, approval from the environment.

5. There is a constant fixation at work, the person does not know how to relax and is regularly worried.

6. Because of the previous peculiarity, conflicts with friends and family arise, a person becomes more and more immersed in their own experiences.

7. A workaholic is characterized by rigid (fixed, conservative, inflexible) thinking, lack of criticism, and a progressive involvement in work.

Dating a Workaholic: Tips and Advice

There are several solutions to the problem of dating a workaholic, and if you care about the relationship with your workaholic boyfriend, then choose the right one and act.

1. Find yourself a new hobby too and dedicate yourself to it all. In general, the point is to be independent of whether the spouse is near or not. If the whole day your partner is spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, then you will not have time for empty sentiments. Although psychologists consider such an approach rather an adaptation to a problem than a solution to it.

2. Ask them to cut out the time that they will devote only to you and your family. This workaholic relationship advice is simple. Suppose, for example, they warn colleagues that after 9 o'clock in the evening they will not respond to business calls and will turn off the phone on a day off.

3. Stop complaining to them about their staying late at work. In the end, all these claims will bring only to the fact that they will not want to return home and will seek a retreat at work. Your behavior will make them work even more.

4. If your man is on contact and is ready to discuss the problem, then calmly explain to him that his workaholism scares you of possible health problems in the future. You worry not for yourself, but you worry about him because without a good rest it is impossible to work productively. Let your beloved feel that you really need him.

5. Next tip on how to date a workaholic is to engage a workaholic in a life outside of his work. They should not think that their household affairs do not concern them. Come up with an interesting plan on how to spend a day outside the city with children or spend it at home doing a big cleaning, show them that life is bustling without work too.

Workaholic Relationship Problems

Overworking is always bad for personal life. Why do psychologists consider workaholism a serious problem? Scientists insist that “going to work” entails negative consequences in both the short and long term. In a meta-analytical work, the American researcher Malissa Clark and her colleagues show that this type of dependence negatively affects both family relationships and self-awareness of the individual.

Psychologists note that workaholism has a bad effect on family life that all partners who are involved in dating a workaholic man should remember about the following.

1. Family members are dissatisfied with the relationship with each other and the performance of functional responsibilities of the family.

2. Marital relations deteriorate, spouses are increasingly unhappy with each other.

3. The conflict arises between work and the rest of life.

But workaholism also has a negative impact on the personality:

1. growing dissatisfaction with life;

2. growing emotional burnout;

3. deteriorating physical and mental health.

An approximate portrait of a typical workaholic is a grumpy, cynical, suffering from pain and neurosis (there is no time to turn to the doctors - work!) person who is constantly quarreling with their relatives and confidently moving towards the destruction of their own family. That is why the next workaholic relationship problems appear:

1. The workaholic focuses on their goal. For you, a relationship is an advantage. When you live with a workaholic, they will do their best to provide you with everything forgetting about simple human emotions. You will not be a priority if you choose life with a workaholic. Living with a workaholic will make you get used to the postponed vacation, missed dinners, unanswered phone calls, unread messages.

2. The self-esteem of a workaholic depends on their work. Everything about their work can affect your relationship. They depend on what is happening at work, the appearance of problems there immediately reflects on your life. For example, if negotiations with partners are unsuccessful, their depressed state will not be cured by any of your attempts to influence the situation.

3. Their phone is your enemy. Workaholics are not used to parting with the phone. They are trying to do their job as long as possible. Even if your relationship and the time you spend together suffer from it. They will answer it in the middle of the night, check the report in the cinema, or give somebody tasks at a family dinner.

4. A workaholic may not appreciate you. If the workaholic is too focused on their work, they may not appreciate the things you do for them: a romantic dinner, well-organized vacation, and so on. In your life with a workaholic, there will be times when you will feel as if you are denied, but you have to accept this reality.