10.06.2019
We tend to believe that true love comes uninvited. And while that mainly turns out to be true, the term "uninvited" is quite tricky, as it can be interpreted in too many ways. Is it about falling in love with a person you hate? Is it about falling in love all of a sudden? Is it about falling in love even when you don't want to fall in love? See, there is no simple answer. That's why quite often we deceive ourselves, believing that we are falling in love. Sometimes, you can easily confuse a short-term infatuation with actual love. Sometimes, you may end up in a relationship with someone because of the circumstances.
You both feel bored and hungry for love. While you are nothing but the substitute for love to each other, the fear of loneliness and the convenience of the relationship that kinda materialized on its own can easily make you believe that you are in love. You may start believing that you are in an actual relationship, while in reality, you are in a situationship. What's the difference between situationship and relationship? Well, let's figure it out.
If we try to define the word "situationship," we can’t help but look it up in the Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary goes straight ahead with providing you with such situationship definition, “A situationship is kinda like a relationship, but more of a situation.” Not that clear, right? So, what is a situationship after all? The point is that there is one trait thanks to which you can easily compare a situationship to relationship and to the concept of love coming uninvited.
Some define a situationship as a relationship without a label, while others consider a situationship to be something in between friendship and relationship. While one states that a situationship is hooking up with your ex from time to time, others claim that a situationship can happen between friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc., but not between ex-lovers. There is also a definition of a situationship as a relationship where partners don’t know how to commit. Another possible definition includes a relationship where people avoid considering it as such, as they don’t want to be labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend.
While the most common interpretation of a situationship is of a relationship in which two people prefer the chilling together, but they are confused by the fact of having emotions towards each other without being romantically involved officially, and the absence of definition is getting more and more confusing. What can easily lead you to start wondering does a situationship actually exist? Weather a situationship is a real thing or not? Is a situationship vs relationship actually a topic to discuss?
Okay, while you may not find the direct definition of a situationship, it is still real. While it may be difficult to find the direct commentary on what it is, there are other means to figure it out. Everything has its traits, and there are definitely certain characteristics that will help you find the answer to, "What is situationship?" So, let’s figure out the signs that you are in a situationship. It will definitely clear a lot of things for you.
While there is another possible definition of a situationship, which may be the closest to the truth, that characterizes a situationship as a pseudo-relationship, it is better to check out the signs of it to understand whether you are in one or not. You may think that you are in a relationship, but actually, it is nothing but a placebo, a substitute for it. To figure it out, let’s check the models of behavior that are typical for situationship.
1. You don’t call it a relationship
Well, the most obvious thing that comes with everything that we’ve learned from the above-mentioned is that you are not calling your situationship as a relationship. Moreover, you avoid calling it a relationship. You are afraid of a realization or you don’t want your spending time together to be official.
2. You don’t get acquainted with each other’s friends
You don’t try to make your situationship partner get to know your friends, and your partner does the same. Once again, you don’t want it to be official, and the best way to keep it unofficial is to not let anyone know that you are in a situationship.
3. You don’t go on dates
You don’t have any dates. You may spend an evening together, but you don’t go on dates, as it may cause further development of your rela...situationship. Well, all in all, you avoid anything that can turn your situationship into a relationship.
4. You meet mainly at night
You feel certain kind of guilt for the situationship, maybe it’s your own self-esteem telling you that you’re going too far, maybe it’s just the tradition that any kind of romance must turn into a relationship. That’s why there must be a certain level of secrecy towards your situationship. That’s why you mainly meet at night. Aside from your guilt, the night is the best time to chill and have sex.
5. You don’t discuss future
And the most important of all the situationship rules is that you avoid discussing the future. You don't only avoid discussing where your romance or whatever you call it is heading, but you also avoid discussing your plans for the weekend as well. You don’t have any future. The only thing that you have is the present moment.
After reading the main signs of a situationship, you can easily distinguish it from a relationship. Before we continue, there is another misconception about a situationship that need to be clarified. You may start thinking of it, as of friends with benefits type of relationship, but a situationship is different. When you are friends with benefits, you know what is acceptable and what is not. You both know what you have come here for. When it comes to a situationship, nope, you don’t know what to expect from this type of relationship. Will it last forever? Will it end? Where does it lead? You don’t know, and you don’t want to know. But still, is there a way to name the main difference between relationship and situationship? Funny enough, there is.
While a relationship is based on your feelings and the person you have them for, making you have a desire to get to know this person better, stay with them forever and develop your romance further, a situationship is based on the situation. You have just happened to be around. Both of you have just happened to be single. Both of you lack the desire to build a relationship, and to give your situation any further development. So, you are just hanging out with each other chilling, and feeling confused...or not. The main thing about a situationship is that it may last really long until one of you decides to end it. But it’s too hard to end something, that lacks the typical problems of a classic romantic relationship.
The only thing that can spoil your situationship is the confusion that it brings. You can’t help but wonder whether these relations move somewhere or not? How long it will last? Am I wasting my time, which, otherwise, could have been devoted to finding true love? In the end, it brings us to the question, "How does a situationship end?" Well, let’s figure it out.
So, how to end a situationship? Well, there are two possible variants of ending your situationship, which depends on the reason why you want to end them. Generally, one may want to end a situationship because of FOMO (fear of missing out). One of you may easily start panicking that they are wasting their time with the person whom they don’t love. That’s the hardest way to end a situationship, as the comfort of it looks quite suggestive. No scandals, no figuring out who’s to blame for something, and, most importantly, you don’t owe each other a thing. That’s the reason, why you get a desire to let it last a little bit longer. But, soon, when you realize that you are not ready to continue this way, you will end it.
The second reason to end your situationship is the desire to develop your relationship further. Someone starts falling in love and wants more. The questions that you focus on are, "When does a situationship become a relationship? Does it happen when you start going on an actual date? Does it happen when you get your partner acquainted with your friends?" No, it starts when you can’t hide your feeling from each other any longer, and you want your situationhip to transform into something else.
It can also be difficult, as you get the fear that by transitioning to a relationship, you may ruin everything and end up without romantic relationship and without that comfort zone and in a state of the unknown. But if you really want to take your situationship further, you will overcome the fear and take certain risks to transform it into a relationship. But no one says that you need to trade a situationship for a relationship if you don’t want to.