My Girlfriend Gained Weight: How to Tell Her Without Hurting

25.02.2020

Experts note that some factors affect the fluctuations in the weight of girls. Of course, some of these factors are psychological: in certain periods, a woman wants to lose weight to look better, while in others, she pays less attention to her figure and begins to overeat under the influence of stress. However, vivid emotions sometimes not only force a woman to consciously monitor her nutrition but also affect her from a purely physiological point of view, affecting her appetite, digestion and the state of the body as a whole.

Dating overweight girl, you should remember about this and know how to support or help her instead of thinking how to tell your girlfriend she's fat. Especially if you meet mature single ladies, remember that it is way harder to lose weight when you are not that young anymore, and only your kind words and motivating by your example will help your significant other believe in herself.

What Does Being Overweight Mean in Modern Culture?

Sometimes, the attitude of people around to fat people makes one wonder. Many people express an open condemnation towards overweight people like, "Come on, you only need to eat less!" Such a phrase is accompanied by the most contemptuous tone and even with hatred.

Of course, it cannot be said that all people are so critical of obese people, but in most cases, this is so. Most probably, you read this article because you want to know how to tell your girlfriend to lose weight. Nevertheless, some people treat such people loyally and even with understanding. Jokes and hatred mostly come from people who have a similar experience behind them. Now they are actively engaged in keeping fit and have a very successful result. So why not mock losers?

Also, those people who have never encountered the problem of excess weight and do not know the true reasons for its appearance are real bullies. They neither suspect nor think about the fact that often weight problems are connected with health. They are sure that excess weight is solely the result of overeating. That fat people consume too much and do not know how to stop.

Few people think that the problem of girlfriends getting fat is connected with physiology. After all, no one ever thinks of laughing at tall people because they can own a model appearance and, therefore, be successful. The same goes for basketball players. After all, their growth is the key to success. But at the same time, not everyone becomes basketball players and models. Tall people can be sellers in supermarkets, teachers at school. However, an obese seller looks ridiculous to us, while a high seller is a norm.

Does an Appeal to Their Weight Offend Women?

Of course, some men enjoy plus size women more than skinny. And even engaging in the search of their soulmate on women seeking men sites, they pay attention to mainly curvy girls. But girls generally do not like appeals concerning their weight. Growing up, a girl faces the fact that any of her words can be discounted by her appearance. She can have any level of intelligence and erudition, but if she enters into an argument or just express her point of view, people will run into comments like, “After all, you are fat,” “Nobody loves you” and “No one needs your rich inner world.” Note that jokes about the rich inner world exist only about girls.

And do not forget about magazines. Girls read magazines for girls (which is pretty obvious in general), where approximately 100% of the content talks about how to dress, put on makeup, and go on a date with at least someone. So, they learn the rule that looking great is everything they need to do in life. Of course, she did not dream of becoming that ugly overweight girlfriend. She still wants to look great and probably knows that she has put on some kilos. Do not point this out to her, otherwise, you risk losing her trust.

The Main Reasons Why Sometimes Girls Gain Weight in a Relationship

Unexpected discoveries of scientists have explained why she gained so much weight. Before reproaching your other half, think whether any of these reasons can be applied to her.

Doing less housework

The cause of obesity in women is that they have become poor housewives. The present women “housewives” do on average 20 percent less than their slenderer predecessors. And accordingly, they consume fewer calories, which leads to a steady weight gain. And modern - very convenient - household appliances help in this. Because women today are mainly focused on building a career, they do not work so much physically at home. It is considered a norm to split the house chores between two partners, and the woman doesn't get engaged in the hard activity. She would rather spend a busy day at work and grab a snack in between meetings and making reports. Of course, her man does the same or even more, but do not forget that the male and female bodies are different. When men generally are not prone to gaining weight, women often experience hormonal changes, so overeating because of stress at work and not doing a lot at home can be the reason why your girlfriend gets fat.

Sex matters

There is a strong belief that sex is akin to exercise. Like, one sexual intercourse replaces a half-hour run. But, unlike running, it ends with an orgasm. Calories burn like coal in a firebox together with subcutaneous fat. What no diet can achieve. Therefore, enjoying quality sex and doing it with pleasure, women lose weight.

But sexual intercourse, especially with subsequent orgasm, dramatically increases the concentration of the hormone prolactin in the blood. Its main purpose is to stimulate the production of milk in pregnant women. And in non-pregnant, it contributes to the accumulation of body fat. The scientists cite the fact that obese women, as a rule, suffer from hyperprolactinemia, that is, their hormone levels are greatly increased.

Eat a lot at home

Scientists have found that success in the struggle for a slim figure is directly related to the place of eating, and the environment at lunch or dinner. It turns out that the number of calories consumed by a woman greatly depends on where she consumes them: at home or in a restaurant, alone, with girlfriends or in the company of men.

The article by the British nutritionist David Heslam, published in the medical journal The Lancet, informs that cohabitation of a man and a woman leads to a girlfriend gaining weight. A woman, thinking of how to feed a man tasty, buys more high-calorie foods. And she begins to eat like a man especially in the evenings. When you have dinner with your partner, this is a public event and not just satisfying hunger, you eat more and perhaps more extravagant dishes.

The structure of the female brain

There are about four times less obese men than women. These are world statistics. Do not believe it? Look at visitors to medical TV shows. Ladies prevail overwhelmingly. They would be happy to lose weight. Reportedly trying to go on a diet, go to the gym. But few people manage to achieve the desired, a slim figure.

According to scientists, women often "break down" after tormenting themselves with diets and spending calories on exercise because they have bad willpower. Much worse than the one of men. And the reason for this is biology, more precisely, the female brain. It is designed so that it does not allow them to fight appetite. It is it who inevitably leads the ladies into the temptation to eat well. Especially if there is something tasty in front of them. Men are more resistant in this sense. And as a rule, they do not succumb to temptation.

Giving birth

Stephen Stearns, an evolutionary biologist at Yale University, has raised data from a large-scale study in the US state of Massachusetts. It began back in 1948, it spanned three generations and several tens of thousands of women. There was information about the beginning and end of the reproductive period, about height, weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart condition and, most importantly, the number of children.

And it turned out: obese women, as a rule, had more children than tall and thin. Height, weight and other genetic characteristics were regularly passed on to subsequent generations - very similar daughters were born chubby, who, in turn, also sought to have more children. Stearns believes that slender people lose in evolutionary competition with the overweight ones. Because getting pregnant is a great stress for the woman’s body, and fighting the side-effect in the form of excess weight can take up years. So, if a woman hasn't lost kilos from the first child and got pregnant again, it will be twice as hard for her to get back into the shape. Please, instead of thinking how to get your wife to lose weight, cherish her sacrifice for the sake of you and your children. She did not want or choose to become overweight, and she will work on herself, in case you support her and show your love.

How to Politely Tell a Girl That She Gained Weight?

This is a very interesting and difficult topic. For girls, being overweight has always been a sore point, especially when they constantly suffered from it. On the one hand, you can make a girl favor if you directly say that she should lose weight. But on the other hand, it is also worth considering her psychology. Now let’s talk about how to get your girlfriend to lose weight and not lose your girlfriend.

Consider her constitution

If your girlfriend belongs to those people who are naturally thin, then you can directly tell her that she has gained excess weight. She may not have insecurities concerning excess weight. At the moment, she understands that she has changed greatly, and she needs to lose weight. Your words will help realize this faster and better, and later, when she starts losing weight, she will even say thank you. But you could also think "My girlfriend is getting fat and I love it, what do I do?" If your girl has been always skinny, and you prefer chubby ladies, then tell her that now she looks healthier and doesn’t need to torment herself with diets.

Watch your mouth

If you see that the process of losing weight is difficult for your partner, then do not make matters worse by all sorts of horrible phrases like, "So, how much have you already lost?" and something like that. If a girl does not lose those extra pounds and asks you if the result is noticeable, then do not say that you do not notice anything. Say that now the result is not very significant, but later it will be better. Because you want to solve the "My girlfriend is gaining weight" problem and not the "Now she hates me and herself and is engaged in crying all days long instead of working out" one.

Active leisure

If you spend a lot of time indoors or sit constantly in some institutions, then start spending more time outdoors together. Organize various walks in the park, hiking for 2-3 hours. If it is summer outside, then engage in various games. Thus, you will not only help the girl lose weight but also keep yourself in shape. Be her example, and then you will realize how hard it is and stop reproaching your beloved one.

Going to the gym

Tell your girlfriend that you would like to join the gym with her. Justify this by the fact that both of you will benefit from such a decision. Also, instead of the gym, you can choose joint trips to the pool, sports games or classes. This way you will not hurt your girlfriend, and she will lose those extra pounds. For a holiday, give your girlfriend a certificate to one of such sections. Of course, the girl, most likely, can perceive this as a very strong hint that she needs to lose weight and will be greatly offended. In this case, say that you've found an article on the Internet where it was written that the girls like to receive such gifts, and say that you wanted to impress her. So, the girl will appreciate your attempt to make a good present.

Healthy food

If you both love spending time in fast food establishments, then it will be beneficial to switch to healthy food. At first, this will certainly not be easy, but to achieve great results, tell your girlfriend that you need to work together as a couple, and a healthy diet is very good. Everyone will win from such a switch because eating healthy has never affected anyone badly.

Forbidden Words and Behavior to Avoid

“My love, you are beautiful!” every girl wants to hear this. It has long been known that the female sex loves with ears. The more you praise your girlfriend, the more you pay attention, the more she loves and values you. If you do not want to lose your beloved or hurt her, then it is better to know what you cannot tell the girl.

"I'm a man, honey. Weight problems are more typical for me." Do you think that a woman does not understand that she has put on weight, that she has gained 3-5 kilos, and needs to go to the gym? Of course, she knows, a woman is not stupid. And when girls say to a man such words as, “I am fat” or “I have to go to the gym,” they say this to raise their self-esteem. So they want to hear, “Dear, you are the most beautiful to me, we’ll rather go to bed, do something more interesting.”

How to tell a girl she's fat without hurting her feelings? Show it on your example and engage in exercises together. And if a man does not do this, if he tells his girl that she should go to the gym, there will no coming back. She will go to the gym, she will lose weight. But these words will be constantly in her head. And when she goes to bed with him, she will always think about what he has told her. She will try to take a pose in which her body looks beneficial, and not try to relax and have fun. If there is no relaxation, there is no orgasm. No orgasm means no desire for sex. We can say that sexual relationships in this couple will be violated forever.

"You look more terrible than before." Girls, women, mature ladies spend a lot of time on their appearance. Make masks on the face to look younger. Once a month go to the hairdresser. Do manicure, pedicure, hair removal. They read fashion magazines to stay in touch with fashion trends in clothing. The list can go on. The main question is what is all for? Or for whom? First of all, of course, for themselves. But even this is not the most important, but she wants you, her beloved man, to finally notice a new hairstyle, shoes, suit, and praise her. Unfortunately, men rarely make compliments to women, but on the contrary, they say something that should not be told at all.

In no case should you criticize her appearance, you understand how much effort is behind all this. If you do not want to start a quarrel, never say that some other woman is more beautiful than her. Or that your girl looks worse than before. You will not be forgiven for this. Even if your company has a heated discussion of different people, refrain from the characteristics. Never say that your girl is fat, even if it’s so (because you still love her the way she is). You should not say that she is too thin either (weight is generally a sore spot).

"Losing weight is so easy. My friend's girlfriend lost 30 lbs in 2 months!" Let’s consider the options on how to tell a woman about her appearance. First, you need to relax and calm her. Then bring the joint sport to your life, any of its options: gym, running, fitness, swimming. Learn to enjoy the results, to be proud and praise each other for every kilogram lost, and not to scold for those not lost. Even if you notice that your girlfriend has put on weight, then do not send her directly to the gym. This phrase is taken very offensively and only traumatizes the self-esteem of your beloved. Better ask her to make you a company, “Honey, I've decided to go to the gym. Maybe you want to join me?"

And never, never say that some other young lady is cute, attractive, cheerful and so on. Do not mention that the other woman physically attracts you, whether she is a celebrity or an anonymous beauty from Instagram. Your girlfriend is the only one you see, and the rest are just people for you. People of the female gender, to be more precise. At least you should convince her of this. So, comparing your woman to someone else is the worst thing you can do. After all, would you be glad to hear that some other male acquaintance of your beloved looks more athletic and handsome?

If your girlfriend was always overweight, even as a child, then she will very emotionally perceive your remark. If such a conversation was allowed in previous cases, then here the girl may refuse to lose weight, “I love myself for who I am. And if you don’t love me like that, then I won’t stop you.” And it is at best. Here we would also advise you to take the approaches from previous cases. The best suggestion would be to lose weight together. So, you'll show the girl that you want to lose weight yourself, and at the same time, you will become her support. You will have a chance to awaken in her the desire to lose weight, and she will enthusiastically get down to changes.