Having Sex Too Soon in a Relationship and What Can Be Caused by It

08.01.2019

In modern conditions, sex on the first date is perceived by many young people as a normal state of things. Some of them generally consider this to be the norm, not imagining that it can be different. Still, many of them are wondering if such a rush is useful for the successful development of relationships in the future. Let’s figure it out!

Why is it necessary to carefully approach sex in a relationship?

Do you really need to understand when the most appropriate time for the first sex comes? Well, of course, you can jump into bed after the initial meeting and even get a lot of pleasure from it. But in the case when you want to continue the acquaintance this is not the best option. Because, firstly, it will be difficult to figure out later what really draws a man and a woman to each other – the desire to repeat intimacy or something more. And secondly, sex and relationships are intertwined, but it should be done smoothly and harmoniously.

At the same time, it is also inappropriate to delay the first sex. You may like a person, and communication with him or her arouses a serious interest. And now you are starting to make grandiose plans for the future life. At the same time, we are well aware that relationships without sex are impossible, and finally, we decide to try. And then it turns out that you have a complete and categorical incompatibility. A partner has other requirements, for example, or you don’t like something and so on. But you never know! As a result, your plans for the future are rapidly collapsing. You both have wasted time and efforts.

In addition, if people don’t try to combine intimacy and relationship for a long time, one of the two may not endure and decide to find someone else. As a rule, this concerns representatives of the stronger half of humanity, whose sexual instincts demand satisfaction, and who are not particularly sensitive to feelings. What should a man do if he is in love with a woman who is not ready yet but he has the fear of losing her? Should he tolerate a relationship without sex until she wants it? But not everyone can do it! Here men start looking for a partner for sex, to whom, apart from physical attraction, they often don’t experience anything at all. But it is so at first and then everything can change.

There are many cases when a man becomes attached to his “bed girlfriend” and tores chaste communication with another woman due to a mistress. So, how to behave? How to understand when it is time to combine sex and relationships? We (normal people) feel real excitement only when we are completely confident in our partners. Of course, you can enjoy the pleasure of spontaneous sex. It doesn’t cost anything, as it is short-lived and hardly remembered. However, feelings after a premature or too long expected closeness with those with whom we already fell in love sometimes are much worse. How can you tell when it really should happen?

How to determine if you are ready for sex

When are people ready for sex? When is it too soon to have sex? These are important questions, since harmonious sexual relations in the family, which may well be created later, begin with the very first intimacy. If it happens at the wrong time (too soon or too late), then the marriage may be doomed. Intimate life significantly affects people’s feelings and is capable to simply destroy these feelings. People should feel that the right time has come, but they should also want sex and bring pleasure to each other. In this case, it is still better to approach the first sexual contact more or less judiciously. But think about some points before it:

1. Do you have anything in common? Did you have enough time to determine whether you have similar interests in life? If yes, then intimacy and relationships become a natural continuation. If not, then you have to know that sex is not the reason to stay together. It will not lead to anything good.

2. Do you feel comfortable together? Can both of you behave openly with each other without playing a role? In order to enter into an intimate relationship for the first time, people have to be relaxed. And this can be done only when partners are not afraid to open up completely before each other.

3. Do both of you really want intimacy? Perhaps one of you just gives in to partner’s insistence to have sex? Here, the first sexual contact is unlikely to become the main reason to build a strong relationship one day. And it is better to wait until mutual desire arises.

4. Are you both ready for the fact that you can’t have sex every day? Well, how soon is too soon for sex? Relationships provide not only a common bed but also the care partners give each other. There are many circumstances that make sex sluggish, rare or even impossible. Partners intending to build a serious relationship should take this into account and understand that they are dear to each other not only because of pleasure in bed.

So, perhaps, these are the most important points. But before coming to the decision that it is the right time to have sex and build a family, it is better to discuss such a decisive step in detail. After all, sex can lead to numerous problems. These moments must be discussed in advance. If you can’t be extremely open in front of each other, it means that you are not ready for sex yet. And for the consequences of it, in fact, no one is responsible. And then don’t say that you had sex too soon.

Why girls agree to have sex too soon

Sometimes, everything happens quite quickly: you met, had a date, and suddenly felt attraction. Having sex too soon, many girls regret it in the morning. But still, there are some reasons why they behave like that.

They like a man. They just completely lose their heads. That is why they don’t want to lose a man. Here, as a rule, there are no regrets and doubts. And the next day, the only question that can be disturbing is: “Does this man love me like I do?”

They just want sex. A girl may flirt with a guy and after several glasses of alcohol, she offers him to continue it on a more intimate level. Such women don’t come up with reasons explaining their frivolous behavior. They just have the desire and this is a good explanation of why they want to stay with men.

They have fun. For example, a girl had fun at the party where there were a lot of handsome men. They danced, drank alcohol and so on. One of the men might seem particularly attractive and he clearly showed interest in her. So, it was quite natural that a good evening flowed smoothly into the same night. In this case, they don’t have thoughts like: “We had sex too soon”.

They feel boring. Life seems routine and doesn’t present any surprises for a long time. Therefore, girls deliberately begin to flirt to bring at least some variety to the boring everyday life and find themselves in men’s arms to get pleasant sensations.

They want to revenge. Men don’t even think about how often their new girlfriends want to spend the night with them just to revenge their exes. The night spent together can turn into something good and bring a great light feeling. And the one who is in memory completely disappears from the head. A woman would enjoy revenge after sex that happened several hours after a date with a new man.

They feel lonely. In this case, women think that they don’t have boyfriends right now and they can do anything they want. So, weighing all the advantages and disadvantages, they think about having sex. Also, they carefully evaluate their new friends in terms of continuing a relationship. If they pass the test and women decide that they are suitable for the role of their men, then they are going to visit these men. In the morning, barely opening their eyes, they are already making joint goals for the future.

Why men agree to have sex too soon

When a guy only meets an attractive girl, a natural mechanism immediately triggers in him: to get her and have sex as soon as possible. At first, he sincerely thinks that physical proximity is necessary not only for him but also for a girl in order to get to know each other closer. But as soon as a guy satisfies his sexual desire, he immediately gets doubts. And having sex too soon, he becomes disappointed. But anyway, no matter how much they say that sex is an everyday thing in modern society, the hunter’s instinct has not been canceled. So, what are the reasons to have sex too soon for men?

They just spend the night pleasantly. Many men are familiar with the so-called “morning syndrome” when he was engaged in sex with an unfamiliar girl and confessed his love all night, and when he woke up in the morning, he felt some awkwardness. In such cases, a man wants to quickly get dressed and run away, as he still doesn’t feel any emotional closeness to a woman.

They want to get to know girls better. Every guy wants to meet a girl who is interesting in communication and good in bed. This means that in every man’s head, there is an ideal image of a woman with whom he wants to start a family. It is a mistake to think that this ideal is a beautiful, kind and caring wife and mother, a keeper of the hearth. Whatever woman is a good housewife and mother, a man quickly becomes bored next to her. Because the ideal woman for a man is also a priestess of love, devoid of complexes and willing to satisfy all his sexual fantasies. So, men want to see all these traits in women as soon as possible.

They don’t want to wait too long. Yes, at the present time, when we have the frantic rhythm of life, men don’t want to wait long. After all, who knows – maybe this is another romance that will end in a breakup again? Meanwhile, time flies, mercilessly adding years to us, and we are not becoming younger. Having sex too soon in a relationship, a man can immediately understand whether a particular girl is good or not.

They want to feel the real passion. Men know that they will feel an incredible passion because yesterday two people were not familiar and today they are so close to each other. There can be drawn an analogy with a random companion on the train to whom it is possible to trust innermost secrets. In this case, men don’t think that they had sex too soon.

What can happen next?

There are no guarantees that a relationship will not be interrupted, regardless of whether there was sex after the first meeting or not. It all depends on a person and circumstances. A partner may not call after sex just because he or she didn’t like something during sex or was ashamed to show everything he or she is capable of. The reasons may be numerous. There is also a possibility that after the first sex, a serious relationship may start or people can even marry. And even after that, happy family life can be formed. Here, the main importance is played by the compatibility of partners - if they are intended for each other, then nothing can interfere. In case of incompatibility, one of the partners will always try to end a relationship.