Do Girls Like Shy Guys, Why Yes and Why No

02.04.2018

Shyness is a natural protective response to some unknown or uncomfortable circumstances. Even the most confident people can sometimes have a shyness attack. And what if you’re naturally shy? You can’t force yourself to be hyper-confident, but you can stop being hostage to your shyness that prevents you from dating women successfully. Read on to find out more about men’s shyness and get expert tips for shy guys.

Why Are Some Guys Shy?

All people are different. Some are more extroverted and confident, some are more introverted and shy. According to psychologists, all foundations are laid in a person’s childhood. And if you wonder why a particular person is shy, their early upbringing is usually to blame. People are not born shy. Any baby is a tabula rasa. Their personality is not yet formed, they are kind of empty – and their environment will influence what they will fill themselves with. The first teachers and role models of a child are their parents. If one of the parents is shy, a child will copy that parent’s behavior, mimics, and emotions in some situations. Initially, it can be just a game for a child, but later he or she may get used to this pattern of behavior and deliberately use it in different situations.

Sometimes parents can make their kid believe that he or she is shy constantly telling him or her, “Don’t be shy” even if a kid does not feel that way. In this case, shyness is imposed on a child, and they can start behaving as a shy person is supposed to behave.

Usually, shyness stems from a fear in the face of a certain situation. There were some episodes in the past that caused shyness. It can be some unpleasant experience - for example, an unsuccessful performance or something said out of place, after which a person was laughed at or humiliated.

Why are some guys shy? If a man is shy with women, his shyness might stem from the imposed opinion that women are different from men and it’s natural to feel uncomfortable talking to them. Shyness can be caused by the desire to be good, nice, and loved. Sometimes, people use their shyness to manipulate others and attract more attention to their personalities.

Shyness may result in:

Lack of confidence. It can be difficult for a shy person to take charge of their own life. They have their own point of view, but they listen to others and, as a result, renounce it.

Feeling anxious with the opposite sex. Shy people feel discomfort in the presence of other, more authoritative people, are afraid to show the initiative, don’t speak their mind, and are ruled by the principle – it’s better not to do anything in order not be ashamed or criticized. They prefer to avoid communication with the opposite sex and usually meet new people online rather than in real life.

Various phobias. The constant feeling of fear results in depression and leads to numerous phobias. It significantly decreases the quality of life.

Good news is that shyness can be overcome. Since it’s an acquired condition, you can get rid of it. Of course, it requires efforts and hard work, but liberation is definitely worth it.

Do Girls Like Shy Guys?

There is popular belief that women are attracted to bad guys, the ones that are overly confident and fearless. Shy men are considered to be boring and not enough masculine. However, such distribution of preferences is typical of young women who are more into the dating game itself rather than mature relationships.

Women are hunters too, so they want to catch a big hard-to-get prey. Their self-esteem boosts up to the skies when they start dating a bad guy. From this perspective, a shy guy is a very easy prey, as he can be easily won over, and what is more, he’ll show infinite adoration that will kill a girl’s excitement.

Every girl creates the image of a perfect man in her head enduing him with all possible virtues. Confidence and persistence are usually integral qualities of an ideal man. It means that shy guys are not among the potential candidates. Apart from personal preferences, which often appear to be universal, women’s attraction to confident men is explained by their instincts. They are sexually attracted to the strong and superior males. Such guys don’t ask for permission to kiss – they go for it. Bad guys are believed to satisfy women better in bed. Of course, this is a popular stereotype, but it’s still true that subconsciously women are attracted to alpha men.

However, not all girls dream about a super-masculine macho. So if you are a shy guy and you wonder, “Do women like shy guys?” – relax. You don’t have to force yourself to change or pretend to be an alpha in order to attract women. Many women are sick of being surrounded by conceited and callous men, and they would like their prospective partner to be kind and delicate.

Do girls like shy guys? Women who are leaders by nature really like shy guys. And particularly this kind of women is a good match for a shy guy. The tandem shy man plus shy girl will not work because they will rather run away than venture to make the first move or kiss.

Why do girls like shy guys?

Shy guys are not as vivid as their confident and masculine counterparts. However, shyness is that quality that helps them be not like the others. Taciturn men radiate some mysteriousness, and it makes women want to talk to them and know them better. Of course if that silence is not accompanied by a gloomy expression on their face.

Women who have been in relationships with shy men note that these men are more sensitive and courteous to their women, they cherish their relationships. According to statistics, shy guys often pleasantly surprise their girlfriends in bed, since they are more focused on the needs of their lovers.

Despite their shyness, men can have a lot of good personal qualities and be very successful in their career. Not being spoiled by women’s attention, they very appreciate those women who get interested in them and value their relationships. Delicacy is one of the most important and attractive qualities of shy guys. A delicate and tactful man is pleasant to communicate with, he is unobtrusive and respectful. This quality is one of the most valuable and important for building a romantic relationship with a woman. A wise and understanding woman can boost her man’s self-esteem and help him become more confident thus getting herself a loyal, caring, and loving partner.

Selfishness and narcissism are rarely the features pertaining to shy guys. Unlike many strong and self-confident men who put their interests first. Another advantage of shy guys is that they are more of homebodies, so they would rather spend the evening with their family rather than with friends at a bar. Painfully jealous women should choose shy men as their partners. They are not so popular with women as their persistent and self-assured counterparts, so there will be fewer excuses for getting jealous.

Despite all their merits, the main problem of shy men is the moment of approaching women and asking them out, because this is where their shyness becomes their curse. As you know, it’s possible to suppress your shyness a bit.

Flirting Tips for Shy Guys

If you think that shy guys and dating are two incompatible things, you are very mistaken. When it comes to dealing with women, even the experienced men who have never suffered a lack of confidence may get timid. It’s understandable that your shyness prevents you from starting a conversation with women, and you might regret a lot of missed dating opportunities, but it’s never too late to become a more confident version of yourself and approach women more easily. What do you need for this? Regular practice of communication with the opposite sex.

The best way to start interaction with a woman is to start flirting with her. It’s a safe way to test the waters and see whether a woman is interested in getting acquainted. Check out the following flirting tips for shy guys.

Learn to embrace rejection. Be ready that not every girl will be eager to respond to your flirting and meet you. And reasons can be quite prosaic: she may have a boyfriend, she is not interested in meeting new people at this stage of her life, you may not be her type. If she doesn’t show much enthusiasm, just move on. But if you notice at least a bit of her interest in you, go on flirting.

Define what you need to conceal. Anxiety is never sexy, so if you know that your shyness manifests itself through nervous smirks and chaotic movements, try to control all those things. If you know that delicacy is your strong point, demonstrate it when striking up a conversation with a woman or when just making yourself noticeable (gently smiling or making a small talk).

Be confident, or at least pretend to be. Although you’re shy, you can be confident sometimes. Probably, you’re quite outgoing with your friends, so remember that feeling and try to feel that way talking to the object of your interest. The most important thing here is to stay truthful to your real self. Don’t go out of your own way to appear confident – act naturally.

Look her in the eyes. The problem of many shy men is their inability to maintain eye contact. When you look the woman in the eyes, you demonstrate your inner strength and thus confidence. It’s also a big sign of interest. Women interpret it as a desire to go on talking.

Practice flirting with girls you’re not very interested in. Have you noticed that you feel more liberated when you talk to a person you’re not very interested in or whom you don’t want to impress? Try to flirt with your co-workers or women in the line.

Dating Tips for Shy Guys

It’s most likely that you don’t like to talk about yourself. That’s not a problem. To keep a conversation going, you can make your interlocutress talk about herself. Focus your attention on her life, hobbies; ask whether she likes her job, where she’d like to travel. Tell a bit about your life. Compliment her, but do it sincerely. Insincere compliments are very repelling.

If you’re afraid that you may run out of questions to ask or topics to touch upon, jot down a mental list in advance. Also, think what you can say about yourself. Usually, this will be enough to have a successful conversation.

Online dating for shy guys can be a good training base. Approaching women on dating sites is less stressful. When you contact a particular woman, you already know her a bit from her profile. It means you can ask not general questions, but ones concerning some facts she mentioned in her profile. This will help you make a conversation. When you finally ask her out on a real date, you know her well and she knows you too, thus you both should feel comfortable on a date. This is how helpful dating sites for shy guys are.

If you’re on a date, a glass of wine will help you relax. This trick works for many men. But if you know that alcohol doesn’t have a soothing effect on you, skip it.

Hope these dating tips for shy guys will help you win any woman you get interested in.