10 Important Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage

02.04.2018

Marriage is one of the most important steps in your life. Even if nowadays getting married doesn't mean that you are bound to stay together, you, nonetheless, wish that it would be this way. One of the biggest problems with marriages is the fact that people believe that there is certain magic behind this act. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people blindly rely on this 'magic', thinking that getting married would solve all their problems and destroy or, at least, subdue all their differences between them and their partners. Kind of a mindless attitude to one of the most important steps in your life, don't you think? That's why you need to figure out a few things before getting married.

Having Sex Before Marriage

If you are not a fundamentalist, then you won't have any problems with it. But there is a certain kind of men who believe that they can sleep with anyone they want, but the girl that they are going to marry must be a virgin. Guess what, you are wrong. Difference in sexual drives can kill your romance, and your relationship as well. That's why you need to have sex before marriage. Otherwise, you’re either going to end up visiting your family shrink or face the inevitable – divorce. Only after figuring out how much you fit each other in bed, you are ready for marriage. It doesn't mean that you should split up after learning that you have different sexual drives. It gives you a possibility to fix this problem.

Living Together Before Marriage – Why It's Important

You are planning to start living together only after getting married? So, you did wonder how long should you date before marriage, but never thought about living together before marriage? Your marriage is doomed if you don't know each other as roommates. There are a lot of unpleasant surprises that you are about to learn, after marriage. It would turn out that one of you likes to keep everything clean on maniacal levels, while another one doesn't give a damn about cleaning. One of you may turn out to be not a fan of flashing the toilet, while the other never washes dishes after himself/herself. You may think that those are little things, but it's little things that may easily lead to a divorce. You should figure out whether you can live together before marriage, otherwise you’re going to live in the world of constant scandals after the honeymoon is over.

What Questions to Ask Before Marriage?

No matter how much you love your partner, marriage can destroy your kind and loving relationship if you don’t take it seriously. There are certain questions you need to discuss with your partner before marriage. You are more or less safe if you consider marriage to be nothing more than the next step in your relationship development. Still, you must be sure that you are both ready for this step. And in order to make sure you need to check out our list of questions to ask your partner before marriage.

1. Are We Really Fond of Our Differences?

This is one of the most important questions to ask your partner and yourself before marriage. There is one trick about romance: when you first fall in love, you take your partner with all their good and bad traits. You love how radical he or she is when talking about something. You really like that he or she can be rude from time to time. You may hate those traits in other people, but not in your partner. Same goes for you from your partner's perspective. But a few months later, you would start noticing that you are getting more and more irritated by the things your partner does. That's what you need to talk about before marriage. Are you both sure that a few months later nothing would irritate you about your partner and vice versa? Think about the things that may possibly start irritating you in the future, and talk what you are going to do about that.

2. Are We Ready to Handle Stress Together?

You know that you are both great at handling stress individually, but when you are married, you need to learn how to handle it collectively. You think that you are strong and you are going to handle stress on your own? Congratulations, as it will lead to blaming your partner for being indifferent to your worries and problems. That's why whether you are able to handle stress together is one of the most important questions to ask before marriage.

3. How Do We Handle Conflicts?

One of the great questions to ask before marriage, as when you are thinking about spending the rest of your life with your partner, you don't think about conflicts at all. How good are you at handling conflicts? Are you able to talk it over? Or it always ends up with threatening each other with a breakup? You need to discuss it, as otherwise you are going to end up threatening each other with a divorce.

4. Are We Expecting Each Other to Change?

This is one of the most important questions to ask before marriage. You know, you may like traveling a lot, while your partner likes spending most of his or her time at home, or vice versa. Probably, you are both expecting each other to change. You secretly dream that you would take your partner on some trip to some exotic countries, while your partner expects you to forget about traveling. Your marriage is doomed if you are not going to talk your expectations over.

5. Are We Ready to Give Each Other Alone Time?

You won't face any problems with this question if you've already experienced living together. Still, figuring out whether you would be able to give each other alone time later remains one of the most crucial questions to ask in a relationship before marriage. Of course, we often feel lonely before entering a relationship, still we would like to have some alone time afterwards. Certain partners think that alone time is allowed before their relationship becomes official, but alone time is crucial always. You need to talk it over in order to avoid undesirable worries and suspicions after marriage.

Marriage Counseling Questions Before Marriage

Aside from those five above-mentioned before marriage questions, there are questions that each marriage counselor would advise you to use. So, let's check out the most important questions to ask your partner before marriage, according to marriage counselors.

1. What's The Meaning of Marriage Commitment?

That's the question to ask your partner and yourself before marriage. As we've mentioned above, marriage shouldn't be a mindless effort, as it is one of the most important steps in your life. Ask yourself what marriage means to you, and ask your partner the same question. Think, why among all the people that you've dated you want to marry your partner? Ask your partner, why he or she wants to marry you. While those questions may sound scary and undermining, you need to talk them over, as they would help you figure out whether you need to get married and how long would it last.

2. What Are Your Lifelong Goals?

Another important question to ask yourself and your partner before marriage. You need to figure out what you expect in the near future and the distant future regarding your career. Are you planning to stay in the same town, city or country for the rest of your life? What if your career would require relocating to another country? Is your partner ready to relocate together with you or you are going to practice a long-distance relationship? You need to talk it over before your marriage. Otherwise, your spouse might force you into choosing between him/her and your career.

3. What's Your Attitude to Money?

People have different money-spending habits, and while it may not be a big deal when you are dating, it can lead to a lot of arguments after marriage. That's why you need to talk about your money-spending habits before getting married. Think whether you are going to have separate or joint bank accounts. You must also figure out who is going to pay the bills. Whether both of you are going to build your careers and take housekeeping duties, or one of you would build a career, while another would become a housekeeper? It may sound utterly materialistic and may kill your romantic attitude towards marriage, but you need to go through it or your marriage is doomed.

4. How Are You With Each Other's Families?

Although it's your relationship and your marriage, relatives are still around. You need to make sure that your relationship with your future spouse's family is comfortable for him/her. The same goes for your future spouse. You know that in-laws can be that loathsome worm that lives in the sweetest bud of your marriage. It is great when your future spouse is always on your side, but if his/her parents' opinion means more than yours... you are going to face a lot of problems. Moreover, thinking about the future, when yours or your spouse's parents age and need care, are you ready to help them? This is the question that you need to discuss before marriage.

5. What Are Your Thoughts on Children (and How Certain Are They)?

Are you planning to have kids? And if so, how certain are your plans? Are you dreaming about kids? Are you sure that you are going to be a great parent? Or you are not planning to have kids at all? Maybe you have a come-what-may attitude towards children? Anyway, you need to make sure that your partner really shares your ideas. Otherwise, your marriage is doomed.