Vulnerability in Relationships: Here's Why It's So Important

25.06.2020

If you are not ready to experience not very pleasant feelings, then you are not ready for a relationship. Avoiding your inner vulnerability leads to avoiding proximity. In our time, love and tenderness between people can be possible only if their souls are open to each other. In any public place, a person is unlikely to be revealed to a stranger. It is another thing when it comes to a person close and dear to you. If you truly loved, then you have noticed more than once that you loved them not for social or public masks. You loved for inner kindness. You loved a person for openness and emotional vulnerability in relationships. You can admire, love, respect, and never let go. Everyone wants to meet girls now and feel love, but not everyone is ready to open up and bear the pain. It is impossible to achieve full understanding or closeness if a person is closed. Such people have their protective masks on faces. What prevents us from opening, removing this mask? It is a fear of vulnerability in relationships. We are afraid that we will not be accepted as we are. We become dependent on other people, and it is difficult for us to avoid this.

Why Being Vulnerable Is Actually Good?

Vulnerability issues in relationships. For most of us, the word vulnerability means being naive, gullible, almost a child in certain circumstances. But that’s not so. Throughout life, we are taught that it is better to be thick-skinned and “bulletproof” rather than vulnerable. It is the only way to survive. The truth is that we are all vulnerable, no matter how hard we try to hide or disguise it. And the problem is that people often misinterpret what vulnerability is and don’t even try to fix communication in relationships. Accepting one’s vulnerability allows one to feel more open and close with other people. Thus, your communication improves, relations become strong and healthy. A happy and healthy romantic and intimate relationship is impossible without vulnerability. After all, if you are closed to each other, then what kind of proximity can we talk about? The vulnerability allows us to be more honest and natural towards other people. And this is the path to harmony both with the world around us and with ourselves.

Look at the people around you. Who of them shows their vulnerability? Learn from them. Spending time with emotionally open and vulnerable people, you not only increase the level of your spiritual comfort but also build an interpersonal security system that allows you to share feelings more openly.

If you find it difficult to open up, remember that you are not alone. Vulnerability is considered a key element in healthy, full-fledged relationships. But in practice, everything is not so simple. Being vulnerable in relationships means saying, “I love you,” admitting a mistake, suggesting couple therapy, or getting the courage and telling your partner what you need.

Showing Vulnerability in a Relationship - Why It’s A Good Idea

What does it mean to be vulnerable in a relationship? People need relationships, but we are afraid to open up and hurt ourselves. Studies show that vulnerability (the ability to be open) is the secret of rapprochement. When you do this, it allows your partner to get to see the real you. This means that you hide anything neither from yourself nor from your partner.

1. You understand that you can make mistakes and this is normal

It is one of the examples of vulnerability in relationships. If someone is really terrible at something, there is nothing worse than when they brag about how good they are at that. But if someone admits that they are not so good at something, most likely, they will be respected for admitting it. For example, if you don’t know how to behave in relationships, tell your partner about this, and ask for advice.

2. You take responsibility and don’t blame others for your mistakes

Some people always blame others for their failures. Men blame their exes for failed relationships. Some women blame men for all their problems because they are all jerks. But if you are feeling vulnerable in a relationship, you are not trying to blame someone for something that is not working out. You understand that you've made a mistake and take the experience from this. You control your life. This is a serious step because you can say, “I have a problem. I’m not perfect, but that’s fine. I can handle it.”

3. You say when you feel pain

Many are trying to build up skin-armor and only smile in response to offenses. Many think that telling people they hurt you means to make yourself vulnerable. You show your feelings to another person, reveal your vulnerability. Yes, this is risky and can turn into a conflict, but you should defend your borders even in a relationship.

4. You tell your loved ones about your feelings for them

It is the purest form of vulnerability, and it can hit you the hardest. You tell your partners that they are the best, you appreciate them, show your love and support, and so on. All this makes you vulnerable because you don’t know how your partner feels about you. Showing vulnerability in a relationship, your feelings may not be the same, and this can lead to a quarrel but still, you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it.

5. You understand why you do this

You need to understand forever that in a really close, warm relationship, vulnerability is not a weakness but rather a strength. You must understand that you are worthy of the love of someone close to you. You don’t need to fight for this love or defend against it, you just need to understand that you are worthy of their love. What makes you vulnerable makes you sincere and open to love. If your partner sees your openness, then he or she will not be afraid to take off that mask in front of you and really open up to you.

How to Practice Vulnerability in Relationships

Many of us are afraid to be vulnerable in a relationship. However, if you don’t allow yourself to show vulnerability being with your soulmate, this can interfere with the formation of deep personal ties. You should overcome your fears and strive to open up to your significant others to gain vulnerability and get more satisfaction in a relationship.

1. It all starts with you

Before you begin to be open and vulnerable in relationships, you must first be frank and honest with yourself. Before you can explain how you feel about your significant other, you really need to understand it yourself. Everyone has a different way to understand their emotions. Someone likes to write them out or just sit alone with their thoughts and work on all this. Many people prefer to talk about them with a friend. Whatever your method is, you must understand how to be vulnerable to yourself before you can be vulnerable with your partner.

2. They deserve it

You are connected with your loved ones, so you take care of them and know that they deserve 100% of you, and not only 60%. This means that you must be vulnerable with these people and give them yourself. It is extremely easy to be vulnerable when you know that they deserve your vulnerability. Yes, it can be difficult to open to someone who has offended you and may not deserve your honesty and transparency. But overcome this feeling if you want to be together with this person.

3. Recognize your fear of vulnerability in a relationship

Don’t hide your concerns from the loved one. Tell them about past events that make you hide your feelings. So, it will be easier for them to understand your indecision and realize that you are trying to establish communication. Recognize your difficulties and say something like this, “I try to change.”

4. Discuss it with them

Why is vulnerability important in a relationship? Well, being vulnerable in a relationship means that you reveal your partners every part of you. This means that good and bad parts come to the surface. Make sure they are ready for it. Ask them for support, and make sure they understand how difficult it is for you. They will definitely understand you.

5. Be patient with yourself and your partner

How to be vulnerable in a relationship? Listen, this will not be easy for any of you. It will take some time. It’s alright if you step back a few steps and feel that you can no longer be vulnerable. This is normal. Take a deep breath and start again because you CAN do it.

6. Encourage your partner to do the same

So, you are open and honest with your partner, right? Well, we think it’s time for them to do the same. If you decide to be vulnerable with them and share every part of yourself with your partner, they should try to do so as well. This is a journey, in which you must share feelings.

7. Don’t stop

Your loved ones will likely respond well to your words, and you will be comfortable sharing such details with them. But even if you don’t get the reaction you want, you still will prevail over your fears and find the courage to show vulnerability in relationships. This will be your experience for the next relationship. If you were pleased with the reaction of your soulmates, then thank them for their responsiveness. If something hurts you, then tell them about your feelings so that they understand how such a reaction affected you.

8. Train step by step

It is the last tip on how to be more vulnerable in relationships. Those who find it difficult to show vulnerability in a romantic relationship often had a painful relationship experience in the past. Open a little, starting with small things, and gradually move on to more important ones. The more you practice, the greater your desire to take risks and be vulnerable in a love relationship will be.

If you have carefully read the article, you already know that vulnerability is a form of power. This is the opposite law in action: to become stronger and more stable, you must first expose your weaknesses so that the world sees them. By doing so, you will deprive the world of power over yourself, and it will allow you to live with greater honesty and clear intentions. Acceptance of one’s emotions, mistakes, transition to complete openness, and vulnerability – this can’t be achieved in one evening. This is a process, and sometimes it is a very complicated process. But you have to deal with it!