Is It Love or Infatuation?

07.06.2019

Many people are interested in the difference between love and infatuation. After all, sometimes people have such feelings for the opposite sex that they do not understand what is really going on: is it sincere love or just infatuation, which will pass after a couple of months. Love is one of the most wonderful feelings that a person experiences. Especially if it is mutual, then the feelings experienced by people cannot be compared with anything.

How many verses are said and poems are written about love, but the topic of what is the difference between love and infatuation will always be relevant.

What Is the Meaning of Infatuation?

Signs of infatuation, above all, are manifested in temporary sympathy, and not in real and sincere feelings. Often there is a situation when the desire grows into something more, which is called love. Love, at first sight, is more a beautiful legend than reality. Relationships initially start from interest and sympathy for another person and only then develop into a family.

Other infatuation signs are that this feeling comes suddenly, you can know a person your whole life but only when you look at them as a potential partner, you start realizing they are not that bad. Infatuation does not really mean loving a person as an individual, we love their particular features like a smile, perfume, or eye color without noticing their other regular features. We try not to focus on their flaws because we realize that otherwise, the sympathy will disappear. So, to define infatuation would be best by saying it is more than sympathy but something less serious and sincere than love. However, when loving a person, all their attributes, both positive and negative, are perceived as normal and even idolized.

How Long Does Infatuation Last?

It would seem that thousands of books were written about love, and how many pompous phrases and beautiful words were said! But the topic itself does not become obsolete. What is love? What is attachment? How to distinguish love from infatuation? Most psychologists say that love consists of four phases: infatuation, passion, love, and affection.

If we take infatuation as its first stage, then we should perceive it as something that can later grow into serious relationships. The basis of the feeling of infatuation is a huge admiration for the unique abilities of a girl or a man, their character traits or fantastic talent. This, of course, is far from love, and this sensation usually lasts for several weeks or a couple of months, according to knowledgeable researchers. Enthusiasm may eventually develop into love, and may quickly end, and the person’s attention will immediately switch to a new object. How long does infatuation last for a man? It usually ends after few first nights spent together and the woman becomes unattractive for him then.

As you can see, love vs infatuation difference lies in what the second can last from a few weeks to several months and serve as the first stage of serious relationships. It can end as soon as the person notices their object of attraction is not as perfect as it first seemed, however, if two people try to look for the best in each other and work on their connection, they can build real love.

The Difference Between Love and Infatuation

Infatuation vs love differs from each other by the fact that infatuation is an emotional reaction to the real quality of another person. If love can develop gradually over the period as you get to know the person more, infatuation clings just to some aspects of the one's personality, and passion inflames us thinking more about those positive traits. Love is a deeper, more complicated feeling that has various stages and does not simply disappear.

If two individuals are greatly in love and enter into a relationship, even when the couple does not work out and they break up, the memories about past emotions will live in their hearts. Love is a strong feeling opposite of infatuation that leaves a mark on a person's consciousness. So, what is the difference between infatuation and love?

1. Love is passion. If the feeling is indifferent and not so strong, is it love or infatuation? Of course, it is the second one. Rumor has it that the closest feeling to love is hate. Therefore, when you break up, passionate love becomes no less passionate hatred. When you are just carried away, nothing like that falls on your head. Excitement and erection can be present, but something more serious is completely under your control, and you easily get over it.

2. Love is unselfish. Infatuation is always aimed at your own needs, and you use a person to reach them. Love is able to go beyond the line of egoism. If you do not know whether it is love or infatuation, think about whether the feelings of your partner go above yours. If not, the feelings aren't serious. Chances are you buy glamorous bedding only for those reasons, so as not to sleep alone. Everything you do for your partner is a little bit but about you.

3. Love is easy. Infatuation wants complexity all the time. No one says that complexity disappears when love has come, but any trouble or problem are being solved and do not interfere with great feeling. While being in love, you feel great and easy when apart, and no less comfortable when together. When this is infatuation, it all comes down to counting: how much time you spent together. You need this person just as much as you need to repair yourself. This is not about growth or change for the better. It's like a drug: you are high, but you will soon turn to a normal state.

4. Love makes you free. When it is love, you do not need to constantly see the person to feel safe. You do not need to constantly hug to believe in their feelings. In love, there is no jealousy. When this is infatuation, then feeling “together” is broken by any distance. So when a partner goes out without you, you are already angrily wondering about what they are doing.

5. Love gives strength. Infatuation is a matter of strength. Nothing makes us so bold and omnipotent as love.

6. Love takes you to a new level of freedom. You are ready to bend the world when in love. Infatuation is about leadership in relationships. About guarantees that you will not be let down. But you do not give any promises to your beloved one instead.

7. Love does not follow the time. It does not establish deadlines where you must fulfill the plan for marriage, children and other problems that are typical for infatuation. Since the second is not constant, it tends to hurry. It wants you to have clear stages and positions because a little bit more and the passion will pass away like a cough, and only an empty bottle from the mixture will remain from it.

Below we present you several situations showing the difference between infatuation and real love on the example of real actions of people.

1. What traits are you most attracted to in the partner?

Infatuation. These are their appearance, body, that is, only physical attributes.
Love. You care about everything in a partner, starting from the length of their eyelashes and ending with their hobbies. Of course, physical attraction is not the least important factor, but it is not standing apart from the background of other human features. With true love, you must accept a person the way they are, and even such habits as throwing socks around the house and smoking should not embarrass you if you really love a person.

2. What features are revealed at the partner?

Infatuation. If there is just infatuation between partners, then there are not so many of these features, they are mostly associated with the fact that they make you lose your head from looking at the partner. These qualities include the following: perfume, smile, eyes, or their movements.
Love. Love is when a person loves everything in their partner from every mole to every hair. And even if a loved one has negative qualities, they should turn into positive ones.

3. How did the relationship begin?

Infatuation. Feelings arise suddenly, so to speak at first sight. In addition, this is unexpected for both partners. But it is necessary to clarify that as the relationship quickly began, so quickly they can stop.
Love. True love always comes gradually, and different feelings and emotions develop. It takes time for people to understand and realize if this is your person. For some, a couple of days is enough, and for others, a few months are not enough to determine whether this person is one and only. True love is always checked by time, and it is impossible to love a person about whom you know nothing, most likely, it is a deception of yourself and others.

4. Is there interest to the partner?

Infatuation. If you are dealing with infatuation, interest in the opposite sex is a bit unstable. That is, boredom and love can sometimes appear, then fade away for a long time.
Love. With true love, feelings never fade. And you always want to think about your loved one. People in love do not want to deal with separation, even if it is insignificant.

How to Get Over the Infatuation?

If you feel that you are not ready for something serious and most likely, you are using a person for your own needs, you should know how to stop infatuation and not waste your time.

Look for the bad sides in a person, do not focus on their pros. What do you know about this person? The fact that they are cute, interesting person and have good manners is great, but they could have many dark sides you are well aware of too. Even some little things like the following.

• This man was once able to hit a woman. Yes, maybe it was a mistake, but still, a monster is sleeping in him.
• Or the girl you think is attractive has cheated on her long-term boyfriend.

Get yourself busy doing other interesting things. Do you really have nothing to do except for thinking about the person you like? Apparently, your life is so boring that you have time to occupy it with a new occasional romance. Perhaps this person does not even notice you, so instead of trying to win their heart, take on something new. And you should better develop yourself instead of missing the opportunities.

• Take technologies courses and learn something that can also bring income.
• You can hang out with friends at parties, go on vacation, have a rest in nature, or visit the theater.
• Improve yourself as a person - find your own style, work on your character by reading psychological literature, and start attending the gym.

Take a closer look - maybe another person is in love with you? There was no problem, it was you who drove it into your own head — you idealized the image of a person who became interesting to you. But for some reason, you have completely forgotten that there are other people in the world who like you as well.

Think about your close circle of communication - maybe there is someone in it who also looks at you with great interest, but you did not notice it earlier. Maybe this person is your perfect candidate, give them a chance.