Dating After 30 Guide for Men: How to Get Confidence and Get Back to Dating

25.03.2020

You are already over 30, but you are still not married, and you do not have a girl? You have been a staunch bachelor all these years, but now you've realized that something is going wrong in your life? You are ready to give up your bachelor's life, but don't know how to find your soul mate? You are not alone in your search!

Thirty years is an interesting stage both in the life of a woman and in the life of a man. Especially if the man decides he wants to get back to dating at 30. You may have acquired a big experience or, on the contrary, have not yet figured out how to deal with women. But do not worry, we will tell you how to gain dating relationship experience in your 30s and win more chances to build a strong family or find serious relationships.

Why 30 Is the Best Age for Dating

In psychology, it is a known fact that reaching the age of 30 years, a man deals with a certain crisis, even if there are no physiological signs of it, many people think so much about it that they can literally notice all the characteristics of this crucial period: having fun, self-development, engagement in certain activities, becoming a little desperate and that is why showing a big enthusiasm in the previously unusual spheres. And it is also a great period to meet a single girl online or start life all over again. Let us explain why.

The peak of keeping fit. After 30 years, the level of testosterone gradually decreases regardless of gender, and therefore, it has an effect on the body decreases. First of all, testosterone supports sexual activity and libido. Testosterone is essential for attractive appearance and health. For example, muscle support and building, skin elasticity, aggressive or risky behavior, a special type of distribution of adipose tissue in the body, better storage of calcium in bones and even prevention of depression, body temperature, and more active intestinal motility. Most people realize these health changes and try to add physical activity to their lives to prevent harmful effects. Social media and successful peers add stress: a man may start comparing himself to others and show a strong sudden desire to do fitness, sign up for the gym and work out to look and feel younger. Today going to the gym is not only useful for appearance and health, but it is also really in fashion. In addition, there you can make new pretty acquaintances among the fair sex that you already have one common interest with. And while building relationships in your 30s all means will do!

The peak of brain activity. Even 20 years ago, American scientists conducted studies that proved: men grow up much later than women. If girls know what they want from life being in their 20s, and have plans on how to implement their ideas, then a man begins to think about the future only after 30. This means that a 20-year-old girl and a 30-year-old guy are at the same stage of development. The stage that really means a peak of brain activity which can be seen in all spheres of life. In this age period, even views on the opposite sex change. A man does not look at pictures of women looking for older men as sexual objects with a beautiful appearance. Honesty, striving for success, interests and standard set of everyday skills are evaluated more than beauty. However, not all men in their thirties seek family. If before this time, there has been no career growth or the realization of their intended goals, then they will only be aimed at achieving success. And marriage, as a rule, takes the last place in their list of plans or is absent completely.

Experience. Any girls who have been dating a man in his 30s at least once will confirm: you feel calm with them. When they think about men, whose first number of age is no longer 2, their rich life experience speaks for them. Consider this yourself: they have probably already become businessmen or entrepreneurs, are able to support their parents, have survived breakups with their lovers and crises at work. In general, they have more than enough experience. And experience brings confidence that can solve any problem. With such a man a girl will not feel scared or intimidated by the uncertainty of the next day. He is an interesting interlocutor, and a wonderful lover does not seek ways to assert himself at the expense of girls, he knows how to seek compromises and protect his beloved. Men after 30 are more likely to notice the inner beauty, appreciate a woman not only for her appearance but also for her character traits.  

Age 30: Is It Worth It Thinking About a Family?        

For any man, the most precious value in his life is freedom. And the younger he is, the higher the price of freedom. A man considers any, even the most beloved and beautiful woman, as an encroachment on this super-value. On the one hand, he is right that cute and naive girls, starting from about 18-20 years old, want to get family happiness from a man (that is, getting married, love, protection, children and other family joys). And a man of this age just wants the opposite - to enjoy his freedom to the fullest. He has a choice: to sacrifice freedom for the sake of his beloved girl and family, or to preserve freedom, but lose both the girl and the family. Why is dating so hard in your 30? Because men have fallen into two categories, those who choose the first option, for the most part, live quite well. But a turning point sets in at age 30 for those who could not part with freedom.

For an unmarried man in his 30s, his freedom from over-value gradually turns into a super-burden. Yes exactly! What is going on? Emotional satiety comes - short-term romances with unfamiliar girls no longer bring satisfaction, the girls become lookalikes, but the worst awaits a single man at home. A beast awaits the house the name to which is loneliness. The life of a bachelor is mostly depressing: the eternal mess in the house, the boring ready-made food from the supermarket for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and a TV or computer are the only interlocutors. 

Of course, men in their 30s relationships face certain troubles, but the outcome of staying a bachelor is way worse. So, when you ask whether it is worth it to go back into the dating game and putting efforts to finally settle down, our answer will be 100% affirmative.

How to Gain Confidence When Dating After 30?

Technologies have strongly and forever been bound to dating, and now people are used to trusting computer technology. The ordinary communication and meeting have transferred online, but this does not mean that you can hide behind your web mask and build a family online. This is especially important for the men in their 30s who are not confident enough to reach a girl in the real world or do not know how to communicate with fair sex in general. Is dating in 30s hard? No more than at any other age! So that your fears go away, and you understand in what direction you should move, we have defined a few simple steps on your way to regaining confidence and being back at the dating game!

Step 1: Get your body in shape. All-time wisdom is: those of us who devote at least half an hour a day to physical activity are less likely to wonder how to become more self-confident - like those who skillfully plan their schedule and manage to get enough sleep, despite the busy schedule and stress. The logic here is simple: to recharge with confidence, you must first energize your body. And it will return the favor by providing you with the right portion of endorphins. In other words, a sound mind in a sound body. Dating in your 30s as a man, you need to follow all the requirements applied to any other age: stay fit, look and act confident, being both physically and mentally developed. As the competition is high and the clock is ticking, pay more attention to your body from now on.

Step 2: Nice clothes and perfume. Dress for success is perhaps the most obvious answer to the question of how to become a confident man. And not only because it's what shows up on the surface that counts, but also because correctly selected wardrobe elements can add confidence to even the shyest and indecisive ones. Carefully approach the choice of an outfit for a situation when you need to be at your best: you should feel irresistible while remaining yourself. Take the time and energy to find your own style, consult your friends or even turn to a professional for help: perhaps all you need to be more confident is to slightly change the wardrobe. In this matter, the quality goes before quantity. Let your clothes selection be a small one but rather consisting of quality pieces and clothes that will best reflect your personality. The same goes for perfume, let this be a niche scent that you choose in a specialized store. Because the expensive perfumes will serve you a few months, it is worth investing once into smelling good for long.

Step 3: More smiles and eye contact. To gain confidence, try to open up to random people and train your communication skills - talk to a nightclub security guard, a cashier, and a man in line right in front of you. What to talk about? Anything - how many people come to a club on a Friday night, and whether it's hard to watch people having fun all night; how prices have increased over the past month, and so on. Just comment on what you see around and what is interesting to you. Stop by the fruit boxes in the store, ask any person standing near what fruits he or she will advise you. How to date in your 30s? The main thing is to practice and get rid of embarrassment. And remember about the eye contact and a smile. Because a wide, sincere smile can open more doors than it seems at first glance. When ordering coffee, communicating with a woman at events, dates, or at an accidental meeting in the subway, remember - a smile will increase comfort, make communication pleasant, and will be a good investment in future relationships!

Step 4: Communicate more and know your good sides. Restless, confused speech is one of the first signs of being not confident. Pay attention to how Hollywood celebrities deliver speeches at Oscars - expressively, but slowly, majestically, with a sense of superiority, keeping a plan of what to say in their heads. It is not surprising that for those who want to look and feel more confident, psychologists recommend developing the habit of speaking slowly: it will be easier for you to control speech, and the impression will be much more advantageous. Avoid long, confusing phrases, they distract both you and the interlocutor from the train of thoughts.

What is more, break the habit of talking badly about yourself and engaging in self-flagellation! Do not ascribe to yourself negative traits, “a fool,” “stupid,” “bad,” “unlucky,” “incapable,” “ugly,” etc. To do this, you can make a list of all the abusive words that you say to yourself to know the face of the enemy. And every time a similar word or thought arises in your head, stop yourself and revise positive affirmations. Identify honestly your strengths and weaknesses. It would be good to analyze all your achievements since childhood and determine those qualities that made them happen. Make a list of these qualities and consider how they can currently help you solve your current communication problems.

Step 5: Spend more time outside. Online communication is great, but dating in your 30s is more about live meetings and making acquaintances outside the web. Visit training like those devoted to business or self-development, you can surely meet many pretty women interested in the same things as you are. You can make your hobby a way to step out of the comfort zone – go to exhibitions instead of reading books about arts. Are you interested in sports games? Try going in for sports yourself! Enroll any activity because this expands your circle of communication and increases your possibility of making new social ties. How to start dating in your 30s? Connect the things you like with the necessity to spend more time outside. The more you go out, the more people you deal with personally. And nothing makes you more confident than regular communication with the opposite sex and spending time in unfamiliar situations.

Dating After 30: Tips for Men

All people are different in temperament, upbringing, life experience, but most of them manage to date and enter into relationships. All the intricacies of their relationship cannot be taken into account, so there can be no universal advice. But there are important points about dating in your 30s for men.

Be tolerant to your partner

If you have created a couple, this does not mean that the partner must immediately begin to implement all your plans and share all your ideas. To hang these obligations on each other is selfish. No need to wait for what a person cannot give you. And unfulfilled expectations are a direct path to conflict. Here you have to choose - either abandon selfish claims or continue living in a state of constant displeasure.

Not only talk but listen to each other

People after 30 get especially arrogant and stubborn, sometimes they stick to their beliefs so hard that it seems practically impossible to make them change their mind. Communication is one of the main needs of people. It should be most fully satisfied in the relationship between man and woman. Interests and tastes may be different. But it is unacceptable to show indifference to the interests of your beloved and be not ready to accept the views of each other. Discuss, find common ground, think about the problems of a loved one. If you are able to maintain quality communication – you will build a strong relationship.

Support and attention

People wonder how to get back into dating in your 30s but do not bother learning how to maintain a newly made couple when you are in such a respectful age. Partnerships must necessarily connect a couple, especially if they are already a family. This small union should become a team. The man should be ready to work together with his woman on implementing the plans of a family. The ways to achieve these goals should be also identified. A team relationship involves support, helping each other, a sense of security and protection. This creates an affection that connects people, makes them interesting and useful to each other. This is how common life develops, and this, you must agree, is more important than passion or psychical attraction.

Sex matters

However, let’s not forget about the psychical attraction. Sex is one of the basic natural needs of a person. Relationships arise to give its participants physical satisfaction, continue the race and exchange emotional energies as well. Men over 30 are, as a rule, experienced lovers, and the psychical interaction is no longer a problem to them. But this can create additional boundaries between the partners when men do not ask their beloved what they like and what should be better a taboo, which practices they prefer and how both partners can make their sex better. To avoid this mistake, no matter how old you are, remember that any person is a new individual and has their own preferences. Ask about them and do not be scared to learn. This is not a shame, this is real life!

The foundation for building relationships is love. If you love, then this simple knowledge and advice will be useful. And if there is no love, no advice will help. Men and women are two poles, but they are also two parts of one holistic world. They are destined from above to be together. To achieve harmony in relationships and be happy, adhere to the simple principles of peaceful coexistence. Because when you are in your 30s, the life experience already allows you to have an understanding of how to deal with people and what you personally want from life. Be a whole individual, and you will attract the opposite sex!